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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27237670">how to decay gracefully</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lorilanda/pseuds/lorilanda'>lorilanda</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Durarara!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, hand holding as symbolism, technically mcd but don't worry about that, this has the whole grim reaper aesthetic without actually being a grim reaper fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:02:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,499</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27237670</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lorilanda/pseuds/lorilanda</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>"Did you know that I can talk to ghosts?" he asks with a promising smirk. Shizuo frowns at him.</p>
  <p>"Can you, now."</p>
  <p>"Of course I can." He stands up and stretches his arms, sleeves fluttering in the upcoming sunset's clingy winds. He looks like he's about to give the world's most dramatic book club reading. "There are a lot of them, up here. More than you might think."</p>
</blockquote>Izaya speaks ghosts into existence. Shizuo has an angel's voice and breaks bones with a single touch.<p>They manage.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sachi_Grace/gifts">Sachi_Grace</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>lynne this one is for you *blows you a kiss and yeets the fic* </p><p>-</p><p>WARNINGS: please notice that, since this is a ghost au, there will be graphic discussions (and, in one case, a semi-graphic depiction) of suicide and violence - especially the (deadly) aftermath of car and drowning accidents. please proceed with caution!</p><p>-</p><p>a HUGE thank you to note (@noteinabottle) for beta reading! as always, you did an amazing job &lt;33</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>1. the meeting</strong>
</p><p>All Shizuo wanted was some escape on a vacant rooftop before his 8pm lecture began. He didn't sign up for any of this.</p><p>The boy looks like he's too frail to stand on the edge of a rooftop without feeling the need to stare down and imagine his own body hitting the ground. His jacket is two sizes too big for him and flutters in the wind, bird's wings in the making, and at the sound of Shizuo closing the door behind him, he turns his head. His eyes are red, not like he's been crying but like somebody took them and turned them into frozen blood before they handed them back. There you go. It's an upgrade.</p><p>The first words Shizuo ever hears from him are "Interesting." He jumps off the roof's edge with his hands in his pockets, studying Shizuo like he's some sort of weird specimen. It makes Shizuo feel <em>seen</em>, in a way he can't help but instinctively shy away from. "I didn't expect to find another person here today. Tell me, what brings you up here?"</p><p>His tone is casual, almost friendly, but for some reason Shizuo doesn't trust it one bit. He's too nice. Too chatty.</p><p>"I was looking to get some peace," Shizuo says. "Looks like I won't find it here."</p><p>He's turning to leave when the boy calls after him. "Come on, don't leave like that. I can be silent if you want me to."</p><p>"Somehow I doubt that." Shizuo frowns, but then he turns around and sits down. The wall presses against his back uncomfortably, but its better than nothing.</p><p>He sighs and shuffles through his pockets in search of the one cigarette package he still has left. Three remain. God, he really needs to stock up on those sometime.</p><p>"You smoke?" the stranger asks. He has dark red eyes and a smile that alone should be enough to warrant him an arrest for life. "How disappointing. Don't you know that it's not good for you?"</p><p>Shizuo shrugs. "Why do you care?"</p><p>The stranger dances on the rooftop's border like he <em>wants </em>to fall down. "Can't I simply look out for my fellow humans? You shouldn't assume bad things about everyone right away, darling."</p><p>"Don't call me darling." Shizuo lights the cigarette. Inhale. Exhale.</p><p>"What <em>should </em>I call you, then?"</p><p>He huffs. "Shizuo is fine."</p><p>The boy raises his eyebrows. "Shizuo as in, Heiwajima Shizuo? Wow, to think that I'd meet a living legend up here."</p><p>Shizuo frowns. "I'm not a legend."</p><p>"Oh really? They talk about you sometimes, you know. The boy with the angelic voice and the touch that could break bones in an instant. Nobody knows whether they should adore or fear you."</p><p>"That's bullshit. I've never heard anyone say anything about that."</p><p>"Of course they wouldn't say it to your face, Heiwajima-kun. But behind your back? Of course everybody's talking."</p><p>Shizuo tries to think back. Has he ever heard aobut those kind of rumors? Would he have cared? He's sure that Celty or Tom would have told him about those, though.</p><p>"I still think you're lying," Shizuo says decidedly.</p><p>"That's a shame."</p><p>"Is it."</p><p>They fall silent for a while. Shizuo is trying to finish his cigarette in peace, without getting interrupted again. But of course, the boy, with his sparkling red eyes and his constant aura of doom, has other plans.</p><p>"Did you know that I can talk to ghosts?" he asks with a promising smirk. Shizuo frowns at him.</p><p>"Do you, now."</p><p>"Of course I can." He stands up and stretches his arms, sleeves fluttering in the upcoming sunset's clingy winds. He looks like he's about to give the world's most dramatic book club reading. "There are a lot of them, up here."</p><p>"There are?"</p><p>"Of course." Shizuo receives a smile like the stranger knows that now he's got Shizuo in his grasp, knows that Shizuo won't stand up and leave. Shizuo hates that he's right. Then he continues: "It's high up here. Down this side there's a back alley that rarely ever anyone wanders through. The roof is easily accessible too, and just close enough to the next university for everyone to know about it."</p><p>The streets of Shibuya growl faintly beneath their feet.</p><p>"Every year around finals season, there are a few who come up here. They can't take it anymore: the pressure, their failed dreams, their doubts. And if they decide to jump," the stranger pulls a lopsided smile, like he's telling a joke Shizuo doesn't get, "then I'll be on the streets below to catch them. Well, what's left of them anyways."</p><p>Shizuo refuses to feel the way the stranger wants him to, so he's not disgusted or horrified, but unbothered and calm.</p><p>"You're not on the streets right now."</p><p>"Your apprehension is terrific."</p><p>The silence that follows is less tense than it should probably be. Shizuo takes another drag of his cigarette and watches the city, watches the boy, watches how the boy watches the city. Finally, he sighs.</p><p>"Well," he says and stands up -- hands-on-his-knees, pushing himself up from the wall, "I'll be taking my leave now. Got a few things still to do, you know? It's a shame not to be able to spend any more time with you though." He half-disappears into the open staircase.</p><p>"At least tell me your name," Shizuo calls after him, only half-infuriated. The other half is a weird twist of curiosity. Maybe it's pure morbidity that makes him look at the boy even after he's turned his back on Shizuo.</p><p>He gets a smile and raised eyebrows in return. "Orihara Izaya, at your service. I'm sure we'll meet again." Then he's gone: Poof, a bit of jacket fluttering in the wind, a sharp glance of red eyes, gone. Shizuo is left to wonder if the streets below are really fascinating enough to give up your life for.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>2. the park</strong>
</p><p>In a city that breathes less anonymity than it makes you feel known and in which the unknown falls asleep on your doorstep every night, Shizuo really should have known better than to think that he'd never see Izaya again.</p><p>He's not on that rooftop again, but he might as well be because he's sitting in a park, strumming random chords to keep himself busy while he tries to memorize the bones of the human hand. He starts with <em>Os scaphoideum </em>and almost gets to <em>Os trapeziom</em> before somebody's footsteps come to a stop behind him.</p><p>"I didn't know you played guitar," a familiar voice says. Shizuo sighs internally.</p><p>"I don't," he says and refuses to turn around to face Izaya. "I just use it to distract myself." He stops strumming chords.</p><p>"That's a shame, isn't it?" Izaya walks around him so Shizuo doesn't have any option except to look at him after all. "Imagine how well your studies could be going if you didn't."</p><p>Shizuo sighs and finally raises his head. "Did you just come here to annoy me?"</p><p>"Oh, how egocentric, Shizu-chan." Izaya draws a lazy smile and drops to the ground to sit down next to Shizuo. "To think that everything in the world is done for you. I just happened to pass by and saw you play, that's all."</p><p>"Sure you did." Shizuo huffs and tries to focus on his notes again. <em>Os trapezoideom. Os carpale tertium.</em></p><p>There's a sound as Izaya lets himself fall into the grass next to Shizuo. "So what are you studying?" he asks, all innocent wide eyes and a smile so sweet that it could almost be genuine. "A voice like you, everyone would have expected you to go into music, wouldn't they?"</p><p>"Shut up," Shizuo says and focuses on the textbook. <em>Tries </em>to focus on his textbook, because it's clear as day that Izaya will do everything to prevent him from doing that.</p><p>"So why didn't you? Got too much stage fright to sing in front of other people?" A devilish grin steals itself on Izaya's lips and Shizuo has to control himself in order to not punch it from his smug face.</p><p>"I said <em>shut up</em>," he grits out. "Before I make you."</p><p>"Oh? So violent, Shizu-chan. Seems like you live up to the rumors after all." Seemingly satisfied, Izaya sits a bit back. It's conveniently out of the reach of Shizuo's guitar. "I'm sure you'll tell me in due time. No need for you to tell me now, right? I have all the time in the world, after all."</p><p>Shizuo hates him. He hates him, hates him, hates him. And most of all, he hates that despite everything, he's still intrigued.</p><p>"Anyway, as much as it pains me, but I have to leave," Izaya finally says and pushes himself to his feet. "There are some souls to collect, would you believe that? They won't wait long for me."</p><p>Shizuo narrows his eyes at Izaya. He's trying to think. "Where are you going?"</p><p>"What, are you interested?" Izaya gives him a lopsided smile. "A hospital, first. Then a train station. Then a warehouse. After that, we'll see."</p><p>"I want to come with you," Shizuo says. It's a spontaneous decision, one he wouldn't have made if he had the time to think about it, but he says it before he can second guess himself too much. Maybe it's for the best.</p><p>"Oh, do you now?" Izaya wears a strange expression, like it's half taunting smile and half a certain unwillingness. Shizuo gets ready for a harsh "no", maybe along with a few insults that sound like compliments, and he's surprised when Izaya finally sighs and shrugs.</p><p>"So the monster wants to watch another monster work, huh? Talk about gaining job experience." He turns around, hands in his pockets, and starts to walk. "Come on, we don't have all day. If you want to follow me around like a lost puppy, Shizu-chan, then don't make me wait."</p><p>Shizuo grits his teeth and follows him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>3. the hospital</strong>
</p><p>True to Izaya's words, their first stop is a hospital. They don't even go inside because as soon as they arrive, Shizuo can see Izaya's eyes harden and his lips go thin; there's enough work for him out here, too. He doesn't need to go inside.</p><p>"Over there," Izaya says with a nod. The park bank is empty to Shizuo and for a moment, he wonders if all of this has been a huge scam; that there are no ghosts. That Izaya will laugh and call him gullible any moment now and Shizuo will break something and it won't end well; but then Izaya sits down on the park bank and stares at an empty space and begins to talk.</p><p>Shizuo keeps his distance so he can't hear what Izaya's saying but the body language is obvious enough that he doesn't need words to understand what's going on. After a few minutes, Izaya stands up and extends his hand. He seems to wait for something and then, in the blink of an eye, he apparently has gotten what he was waiting for, because he starts walking and fades away.</p><p>Shizuo does a double take, but Izaya stays gone. Where he went, there's just empty space now, like Izaya never existed at all.</p><p>He's gone, just like that.</p><p>"Must be terribly boring for you, right?" A voice says from behind him. Shizuo jolts and turns around to see Izaya, hands in the pockets of his coat and looking awfully smug. "Unable to see anything that happens, only waiting and waiting and waiting until I finally return."</p><p>Shizuo takes a breath. "What the fuck did you just do?" he asks. He shouldn't be surprised, honestly, because this seems to be very on brand for Izaya -- disappearing and appearing like that -- but he still can't help but to be creeped out a bit. "You disappeared and appeared behind me without a word. What did you do?"</p><p>Izaya raises his brows. "How awfully nice of you, to ask me to explain my craft," he says, bastard smile plastered to his face. "But I <em>will </em>have mercy and explain some of it to you because, well, if you keep running after me like that, you better get something from it. Right?"</p><p>Shizuo gives him a blank stare. Izaya laughs. "Fine, fine. If you need to know, I was talking to a young man. Died right here, still in the ambulance. Victim of a drunk driver that hit him, a hit-and-run. Tragic, isn't it? I carried his soul into the afterlife."</p><p>"So that's where you went. The afterlife."</p><p>"Yeah. Why? Too absurd for you, Shizu-chan?"</p><p>"No, it's just..." Shizuo shakes his head in an attempt to clear the fog that's been covering his thoughts. "That's the one thing nobody knows about. What comes after death. Is there nothingness? Heaven and Hell, like the Christians say? Nirvana?"</p><p>"You're creative," Izaya says. He almost sounds praising, and Shizuo hates it. "But where would the fun be if I told you now? You'd just leave and never come back again."</p><p>"I might leave and never come back anyway," Shizuo grumbles. "You aren't exactly doing anything to redeem yourself, you know."</p><p>"I'm not? Terrible." Izaya smirks like he's about to make an offer Shizuo can't refuse. "Then what if I make you see ghosts?"</p><p>There's a pause in which Shizuo tries to find out whether or not Izaya is lying. Finally, he asks: "How would you even do that?"</p><p>Izaya grins, a fisherman and his fish, hook, line, and sinker. "Oh, it's easy. Give me your hand."</p><p>Shizuo raises his hand, skeptical, and puts it into Izaya's. His hand is warm, warmer than he expected, and Izaya closes it around Shizuo's like they're about to make a contract. "Look around," he says, way too close to Shizuo for his liking. "You should be able to see them any moment now."</p><p>Shizuo squeezes his eyes shut and open them again, but for a moment, he can't see any difference. Then, in some places, the air seems to diverge, like it's being reflected by a body of water. Then he sees the ghosts.</p><p>Oh god. The ghosts.</p><p>Shizuo should have probably expected it; they're at a hospital, right next to the emergency room, and he knows how bad some accidents can get. But nothing could have prepared him for this.</p><p>The people -- or can he even call them <em>people </em>anymore? -- seem to act like normal humans at first glance, if not for their almost transparent bodies. They walk around, sit on park benches, and enjoy the last few rays of the sun that grace the hospital park, ignoring both th living and the dead as if they didn't even exist in the first place. A young man with frail bones floats by because he no longer has the ability to walk. An elderly woman takes a stroll around the park, shoving her hanging intestines back into her stomach with every third step.</p><p>Right next to him, there's a young girl with her left arm broken and shattered in at least five places. Her skull is cracked and her legs, though she seems to be walking just fine, has been torn to pieces. She's pushing a bike around, humming to herself with the carelessness of a small child. She can't be older than nine.</p><p>Izaya follows his gaze. "Traffic accident. Poor little thing, she went home from school and got hit by a truck when she went over a crossroad without looking. Probably still hasn't realized that she's dead."</p><p>"How do you know that?" Shizuo asks. His voice is more pressed than he wants it to be, but breathing is hard when you're faced with so many who have lost that privilege already. "How do you know all those things about how she died?" His hand is clenching Izaya's, more in helpless fury than in search of comfort.</p><p>Izaya gives him a look. "I can't explain it. It just pops up in my mind, you know? I could tell you that her favourite color was purple and that she wanted to become an actress or a vet when she grew up. Or I could tell you how she promised her friend to see her in school tomorrow, or how her mother pushed her to take violin lessons even though she didn't want to, or how she has a puppy waiting at home. It just appears in my mind when I look at them. Grim reaper privileges and everything, you know?"</p><p>"You're not a grim reaper," Shizuo says. Izaya's hand is still warm in his.</p><p>"Am I not?" Izaya smiles. "Come on, let's get to work."</p><p>Shizuo reluctantly follows the tug on his hand as Izaya marches over to the girl. His stomach drops when they get closer and he can see her arm, her skull, her legs close-up and in detail. Crusted blood covers her skin like paintings in the most terrible way imaginable. When they walk near, she looks up.</p><p>"Hi," says Izaya. "Nice bike you have. Are you lost?"</p><p>The girl stares at him with wide eyes.</p><p>"I'm waiting for my momma," she says. "She should come and pick me up every minute now. Do you have an idea where she might be, mister?"</p><p>She smiles at him and maybe there's something going on that Shizuo can't understand because for a moment, Izaya's eyes flash with unfiltered, pure hatred, so terrifying that Shizuo couldn't even begin to understand where it came from. But then they soften, and Izaya's lips curl into a smile. It's not an honest one or, god forbid, even a particularly nice smile, but it seems to do its job.</p><p>"I know where you can find her," he says. "Should I show you?"</p><p>The girl cocks her head to her side like she's thinking. "Can you really do that?"</p><p>"Of course I can." His smile widens and he holds out his hand, the other one, that Shizuo isn't still holding. "Come on, I'll take you there."</p><p>She hesitates for a moment, but finally takes his hand. Shizuo briefly thinks how strange they must look, him and Izaya holding hands and Izaya's other hand stretched out into thin air, but then Izaya turns to him.</p><p>"I'm afraid I'll have to let go now, Shizu-chan. This is a step you can't watch, sorry."</p><p>Reluctantly, Shizuo lets go of Izaya's hand and takes a step back. The girl's body flickers and fades until there's nothing but empty space where she stood just a moment ago. Izaya gives him a smile. "I'll be back in a moment. Be patient, Shizu-chan, alright?"</p><p>Then he disappears.</p><p>Shizuo wraps his arms around himself and waits.</p><p>Minutes later, Izaya returns. His hands, empty, are tucked into the pockets of his jacket. "She's over the border," he says. "Nothing more to do now."</p><p>"Will she be happy there?" Shizuo asks with a lump in his throat. "Wherever she is going, even if you won't tell me about it, will she be happy there?"</p><p>Another one of those looks. Shizuo can't even be angry about them, because they seem almost as helpless as he is feeling. "Who can tell? In the end, it's her own decision what she makes of it. If I asked you if someone would be happy before they were even born, would you be able to say yes?"</p><p>Shizuo stays silent. Izaya smirks.</p><p>"That's what I thought you would say." He stretches his hand out; an unspoken invitation. "Come on, there's more work to do. Or have you decided to chicken out already?"</p><p>Shizuo takes his hand and follows him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>4. shinra</strong>
</p><p>"Do you," Shizuo says over tea next Friday, "by any chance know an Orihara Izaya?"</p><p>They're sitting on the small, fold-able table in her and Shinra's kitchen, close by the window and a bit too low for Shizou's long legs to be comfortable under the tabletop. Celty has her hands wrapped around her steaming hot coffee to keep them warm and Shizuo, who refused to ask for a glass of warm milk, sips on his herbal tea occasionally and pretends to enjoy the flavor.</p><p>Celty gives him a curious look and grabs her notepad.<em> I've heard that name before, yes</em>, she writes down. <em>Why are you asking?</em></p><p>"It's nothing. I just happened to run into him a few days ago and I-"</p><p>"Don't tell me you've met Izaya-kun!" Two arms in a white lab coat wrap around Celty's shoulders from behind. "I never imagined you two would meet. How is the city not in shambles yet?"</p><p>Shizuo huffs. "Honestly, I don't know."</p><p>"Did he tell you about the ghosts?"</p><p>There's a moment of pause in which Shizuo carefully eyes Shinra. He sets his cup down. "...He did."</p><p>Shinra sighs and rests his chin on Celty's head like it's the most comfortable thing in the world. "Let me guess. He told you about the ghosts, maybe even exorcised one in front of you. You saw how he feels and acts towards them. And now you came to ask how this all fits together, right?"</p><p>It's too spot-on for Shizuo to feel comfortable, so he doesn't answer straight away. "He didn't call it exorcising."</p><p>"Izaya-kun doesn't call a lot of things by their names, if you didn't notice already. Regardless of whether it's true or not."</p><p>After what Shizuo has seen, he'd like to disagree. But he doesn't say anything because if he wants to know what all of this is about, he has to let Shinra talk. "So what's his deal?"</p><p>Celty sighs as Shinra laughs a few times. "His deal," Shinra says, "is, quite frankly, <em>everything</em>. Everything is Izaya-kun's deal. Especially the ghosts."</p><p>Shizuo sets his tea cup down before he can crack it between his fingers. "I figured that, yeah. What are you getting at?"</p><p>"I'm sure he told you about how he's been <em>burdened </em>with this duty ever since he he was a child. Never had a single moment of peace with all those souls screaming at him all the time, you know? Death and despair for his entire childhood, his adolescence, his adult years. Can you imagine? I'm sure you understand that there's every reason in the book for him to hate the ghosts as much as he does.</p><p>"So why is it," Shinra says, stands up and spreads his arms like he's doing a speech, laughing a little bit at it all, "that he doesn't hate them at all?"</p><p>"What the fuck do you mean by that?"</p><p>"You see, for all that Izaya hates the ghosts, he also loves humans. You have to understand, Shizuo, that this is a love that will never be surpassed by anything in this world -- he loves humanity so much that he's willing to get over his hate for ghosts, just to save them. It's almost romantic, isn't it? A tragedy, in some way."</p><p>Shizuo narrows his eyes. "That doesn't sound like Izaya."</p><p>Shinra almost chokes on his laughter. Celty sighs and pats his back until he can gasp for air again. "Well maybe, Shizuo," he says, "you don't know Izaya-kun as well as you think you do."</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>5. the rooftop</strong>
</p><p>For a while, he doesn't hear anything from Izaya. Apart from Shinra occasionally mentioning his name and a few rumors Shizuo hears circulating, there's radio silence -- until he visits the rooftop again.</p><p>In hindsight, it's obvious that he would be here. Of course he would be, just like he was the last time: frail bones, black hair and an even darker jacket. Shizuo almost calls out Izaya's name but stops himself because something is off.</p><p>This time, Izaya doesn't wear his shit-eating grin and he's not standing at the railing either. Instead, he's sitting on the ground, back pressed against the wall with furrowed brows, a frown carved into his face. His eyes are half-closed, but even though Shizuo tries to be quiet, he looks up at the sound of the door falling shut.</p><p>"Shizu-chan." He sounds tired. "Welcome. I'm afraid I won't be able to entertain you much today."</p><p>Shizuo didn't plan on it, but suddenly he finds himself at Izaya's side, three steps at a time. He squats down right in front of him. "What's going on? Why are you like," he vaguely gestures at Izaya, who's still crouched before him, "this?"</p><p>Izaya snorts. "Suddenly you care, Shizu-chan?"</p><p>"Shut up before I change my mind."</p><p>"If you really need to know, it's the ghosts," Izaya says and massages his temples with a hand like he's got a headache. Which probably isn't too far from the truth, if the way he looks is anything to go by. "Sometimes they get- let's call it<em> too much</em>, yeah? If hundreds of people scream at you to save them every day all your life, sometimes you just want them to shut up. Here, the number of ghosts is usually... manageable."</p><p>Shizuo bites his lips. That's exactly what Shinra said. Better not to disturb Izaya, if he didn't want anyone around.</p><p>He sighs and gets up. "I'll leave you alone, then. Get some rest if you can."</p><p>The hint of a smile appears on Izaya's lips. "I could use some company, though."</p><p>Shizuo stops in his tracks. "Don't you have a headache? I shouldn't be here, talking to you. You need silence."</p><p>"I never said anything about talking, did I? Just sit down, right here." Izaya pats the empty space next to him, enough distance for them to keep comfortable, close enough together that they're still two people keeping each other company. "Stay with me for a while."</p><p>"Awfully fond are we today, aren't we?" Shizuo grumbles, but he does as Izaya says. The space between them reminds existent but insignificant, more a formality than anything else. Izaya lets himself slide down the wall, arms crossed on his chest, until he's lying on his back, looking at the sky. It's midday. Clouds are passing: the perfect distraction.</p><p>Shizuo thinks about bringing up what Shinra said. He hasn't talked to Izaya since then and he wants to know what Izaya would say about it. Would he agree? Would he be angry that his friend and his-- that Shinra and Shizuo were talking about him behind his back? Still, Shizuo wants to find out more about this. Wants to find out more about <em>Izaya</em>, until he finally stops being an enigma and, one of these days, might even begin to be a person.</p><p>But now, Shizuo decides when he sees Izaya's furrowed brows and thin lips, might not be the right time. He'll ask another time. He's sure there will be another opportunity to.</p><p>They stay there for a while, Izaya staring against the sky and Shizuo pulling out his phone after a while, playing some game he downloaded a while ago. It's silent and, in its own ridiculousness, almost peaceful.</p><p>At some point, Izaya sighs. "Shizu-chan."</p><p>"Hm?" Shizuo looks up from the game. It wasn't that interesting anyway.</p><p>"Sing for me."</p><p>Shizuo blinks. For some reason, he isn't actually surprised. "What?"</p><p>"Sing for me, Shizuo," Izaya repeats. Even like this, his questions are still orders. "If you would be so kind."</p><p>"I don't know why I should do anything for you," he says. But he's already made up his mind. He's only waiting for Izaya to acknowledge it.</p><p>By the looks of it, Izaya knows it too. "It keeps the ghosts at bay," he says and sighs. "I noticed in the park. They won't talk to me when you sing. It's nice." He's still lying on his back, still looking at the sky, still not looking at Shizuo. His stupid hubris, his pride, and Shizuo thinks that one day Izaya will either stop being human or shatter on his own fragility, and he doesn't know which one he fears more.</p><p>"I don't have a guitar or anything here."</p><p>"Doesn't matter."</p><p>"And I'm pretty rusty. I'm not warmed up or anything. Haven't sung in a while." That's a lie.</p><p>"I don't care. Sing for me, Shizu-chan, before I accidentally drown myself in ghosts."</p><p>Shizuo takes a deep breath. "Don't drown yourself in ghosts," he says and then he sings. It's some song that comes to mind first, and he's long since forgotten its name even though he still knows the lyrics by heart, and his voice is rusty and breaks occasionally at some of the higher notes, but Izaya doesn't seem to care.</p><p>At some point, he falls silent again. Izaya, whose eyes had been closed, opens them to look at Shizuo. "Don't stop."</p><p>"I can't keep singing forever," Shizuo says.</p><p>"I don't care. Don't stop."</p><p>Shizuo sighs and picks up the melody again. He doesn't stop.</p><p>At no point does he wonder why it's exactly his voice that helps Izaya keep the ghosts away.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>/yells</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>6. the café</strong>
</p><p>Izaya sighs. "Whatever would I do if you weren't around. Hm, Shizu-chan?"</p><p>It's afternoon. Izaya sits cross-legged on a café chair, dirtying the cloth but it's not like he seems to care. He's not the one who has to clean it, after all. There's a cup of tea in front of him, untouched and cold. His phone, like a nuclear weapon, dances through his fingers.</p><p>"Get some peace, maybe," Shizuo says. He doesn't know why he keeps running into Izaya, even after everything -- but he'd be lying if he said he didn't seek him out on purpose, today. They're in a small café, one Shizuo would have never entered by himself. If only to keep an image, but he couldn't possibly lie well enough to say that he didn't enter solely because he saw Izaya's bird wing coat through the glass panels.</p><p>Izaya laughs. "You got it backwards, Shizu-chan. Without you, how would I ever get any peace?"</p><p>The worst thing, Shizuo thinks, is that he might be serious about it.</p><p>Now he's standing there, right in front of Izaya, who regards him with a mixture of amusement and terrible, misplaced fondness. Shizuo still has his coat on and slowly, the winter temperatures begins to leave his body. He begins to feel warm. That's what decides him. It's too hot in here to keep the coat on. He takes it off and folds it neatly.</p><p>"Move over, I want some space too."</p><p>Izaya laughs and picks his jacket from the chair opposite from him, so Shizuo can fold his coat over the back of it. He sits down. Izaya studies him with dark eyes.</p><p>"Who would have thought that you'd willingly seek me out, Shizu-chan?" Izaya asks and puts the phone in one of his endless pockets. It disappears without a trace. He folds his hands, elbows on a table, and props his chin on them to watch Shizuo with a scientist's curiosity. "To think that you'd actually like my company. What's next, dinner and a movie?"</p><p>"Oh, shut up before I change my mind." Shizuo picks the menu from the table and tries not to get burning cheeks from the implication. But Kasuka has always been the actor, not him, and so he's pretty sure Izaya can see right through his facade.</p><p>Izaya responds with faint laughter. He pulls on the leaves of the plant that sits on the table, a pitiful thing with pink blossoms and too little water. "We can't have that, can we?"</p><p>Shizuo is about to ask him if he ever stops being irritating -- he doesn't; he knows the answer to that -- when the waitress appears to take his order. Shizuo orders whatever Izaya is drinking because ordering milk feels weird and he hasn't actually looked at the menu yet. This is how things work, too.</p><p>"How creative."</p><p>This time, Shizuo actually asks him if he ever stops being fucking irritating. Izaya smirks, says no, and then that's out of the way too.</p><p>For a moment, it's silent. Then Shizuo says: "You look better today."</p><p><em>Better than last time we saw each other</em> hangs unspoken in the air between them. Last time. A rooftop, too many ghosts for any living person to understand, and Shizuo's voice that acted as an anchor for maybe the first time in his life. It hasn't been long, a few days maybe, but to Shizuo, it feels like an eternity ago.</p><p>"Than last time?" Izaya asks. "Yeah, I do. As always, I'm absolutely stunned by your gift for observation."</p><p>Shizuo <em>tch</em>es. Izaya laughs before his face turns into something different, something a slight more serious. "It's easier here. Ignoring them."</p><p>Shizuo looks around to see if the café contains anything that would justify Izaya saying that. The café is just that: a café, possibly overpriced too, but maybe Izaya can see something he can't.</p><p>Izaya, however, follows his gaze and laughs. "Not the café itself, Shizu-chan." Shizuo has never realized how the same name from Izaya's mouth could sound like an endearment and an insult in just the span of a few seconds. "I meant the street. The area by itself, if you want."</p><p>Shizuo didn't bother to look at a calendar today, but even he knows that there are only a few days left until Christmas. They're on a shopping street, one of the big ones, and the people outside are little more than a single, moving mass -- crawling from one shop to the next in their quest to find last-minute gifts and a few lonely Christmas sales.</p><p>"It's crowded," he says. It's obvious why Izaya likes it. He doesn't have to spell it out. "The people here are alive."</p><p>One of the corners of Izaya's mouth shoots up. "Exactly. And, even though it sounds unbelievable, people actually don't die in shopping malls that often. Less ghosts to haunt me here, you know?"</p><p>Shizuo really wants to ask why Izaya keeps coming back to that rooftop. Why his fascination with falling is greater than the comfort of a crowd. But he knows he wouldn't get an answer, so he doesn't. He will find what he's looking for, eventually. He just has to-</p><p>He just has to. What? Stick around?</p><p>"With that sort of blank stare on your face, I could probably steal your wallet right from your pockets and you wouldn't even notice," Izaya remarks delightedly, chin still propped on his hands.</p><p>Shizuo's hand immediately shoots to his coat. Izaya laughs.</p><p>"I didn't, of course. But I would be lying if I said that the temptation wasn't there. You'd be so easy to steal from, you know?"</p><p>"You're irritating," Shizuo says with a sigh. But it lacks any real intention behind it - he's past the point where he still cares about Izaya's antics.</p><p>"Really, Shizu-chan." There's it again. The endearment. The horribly, terrifyingly, <em>terribly </em>misplaced endearment. "You should think of a different way to flirt if you're this set on it."</p><p>Shizuo snorts. "Oh, you definitely don't want to see me flirt."</p><p>"Shizu-chan!" Izaya pretends to be shocked. "Is this a date? You should have told me, I would have worn something nicer!"</p><p>Shizuo can't even bring himself to be angry at whatever Izaya is trying to do right now. Playing along will get him where wants too, after all. He grins. "There's always a next time."</p><p>"Is there?" Izaya raises his eyebrows. "Tell me beforehand, then. I'll even bring my prettiest knives."</p><p>For some reason, Shizuo is absolutely not surprised by that. "I'll be looking forward to it, then."</p><p>Izaya flashes him a brilliant smile.</p><p>Here's a thought that only comes to Shizuo's mind hours later, when he's long since on the way home and the air is slowly turning cold again: Izaya doesn't have to tell him all those things. And Izaya might be a thief and a liar and an expert at telling other people what they want to hear, but Shizuo still knows a blatant lie when he hears one, and there was no trace of it in Izaya's voice today. Not on the rooftop. Not in front of the hospital.</p><p>Here's a thing that Shizuo realizes only belatedly, and that Izaya possibly hasn't even realized himself yet: Orihara Izaya, against all better judgement, trusts him.</p><p>And that terrifies him more than anything else.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>7. ghost</strong>
</p><p>Of course there is no dinner and a movie, because between Izaya and Shizuo, nothing is ever that simple.</p><p>It happens during a smoke break on the riverside, some part that's so buried with concrete you can barely see what used to be grass beneath it. Shizuo hums a tune in between drags and Izaya finds him right there, one leg pulled to his chest and the other one hanging down the walls that lead to the river.</p><p>"Shizu-chan," he says as a greeting and this time, Shizuo turns around.</p><p>"Izaya. What the fuck are you doing here?"</p><p>"Would you believe me if I said that I was simply in the area?"</p><p>Shizuo doesn't have to think about that. "No."</p><p>He gets a flash of a smile in return. "Good. Were you smoking again?"</p><p>"Don't tell me about how bad it is for my health again. We've been over this."</p><p>Izaya grins and sits down next to Shizuo. "Fine, fine. Hey, let me ask you a question."</p><p>Shizuo, who has by now learned that rarely ever good things happen when Izaya asks a question, sighs and waits for a moment before he says, "Depends." But he knows that whatever Izaya will ask, he'll probably answer it anyway.</p><p>"You always stop singing when other people appear. It's a shame, Shizu-chan."</p><p>"That wasn't a question."</p><p>"Should I rephrase?" Izaya cocks his head to one side, looking at Shizuo like an owl. "In that case: What made you stop singing for other people?"</p><p>Shizuo takes a deep breath and tries not to hate Izaya for that question. He's doing pretty well so far. There's no need to, objectively; Izaya has heard him sing before and didn't say anything. But Izaya is saying something right now, and it's testing all the patience he has.</p><p>"I used to sing for other people," Shizuo finally says. "But I don't like it. They're too-- greedy. They don't take the music, they take the farce around it and pretend to care for it. It makes you hate them after a while. I didn't want to do that, so I stopped."</p><p>Izaya regards him with dark red eyes. "You didn't stop singing for me."</p><p>"You looked like you needed it." It's the truth, but another truth, underneath that one, is that so far, he doesn't have any reason not to sing for Izaya. He hopes it stays that way.</p><p>He receives a small, lopsided smile in return before Izaya asks, "Is that why you changed your major?"</p><p>Shizuo stares at him. "How the <em>fuck </em>do you know about that?"</p><p>"Oh, it's not hard to find anything on people in this city. It's too small for anyone to live in anonymity, you know? It's easy to dig something up, if you know where to look."</p><p>Shizuo doesn't like that answer, but he likes very few things about Izaya in general. "It is," he finally says, though that's technically the same as marking defeat. "I didn't want to make music for them if they only pretend to care for it."</p><p>"So you chose to become a doctor instead."</p><p>"A physical therapist." The words are unexpectedly honest; he didn't really have a reason to talk about this until now. The taste of honesty is unfamiliar. "It gives me something to do with my hands that isn't breaking things."</p><p>Izaya looks at him, almost surprised. Then he laughs. "God, Shizu-chan. For all that you're a monster like me, you're just painfully, painfully human. Do you know that?"</p><p>"You say that like it's a bad thing." For a flashing, short-lived moment, Shizuo regrets even bringing that topic up. It isn't something he likes to talk about, anyway.</p><p>But Izaya just flashes him a smile. "By no means is that a bad thing, Shizu-chan. It just means that -”</p><p>Izaya puts his hand over Shizuo's. In something that might be a misguided attempt at comfort, if Shizuo didn't know better than to expect anything like empathy from him. Still, it's almost comforting. Almost nice.</p><p>Then, something begins to screech.</p><p>From the way Izaya suddenly flinches but keeps his hand on Shizuo's, it has to be a ghost. It can't be anything else. Shizuo doesn't think that this is a sound that could possibly be made by a living being.</p><p>Their eyes meet, Shizuo's alarmed and wide, Izaya's carefully narrowed. "Ghost," Izaya says like it wasn't obvious already. He's already half on his feet, hand still on Shizuo's. "I'll-"</p><p>"Let me come with you," Shizuo interrupts him before he can finish his sentence. "I might not be able to help, but if that ghost is even half as bad as it sounds, I won't let you do that alone."</p><p>For a moment, Izaya seems almost at a loss for words. Then, the corners of his mouth quirk upwards. Shizuo thinks that it might be genuine. "How awfully nice of you, Shizu-chan."</p><p>But he doesn't let go of Shizuo's hand. Shizuo takes his hand in his and together, they make their way along the shore, looking for the cause of those terrible noises.</p><p>It doesn't take long. Shizuo notices the first signs when his shoes are suddenly wet and make a smacking noise with each step; he looks up and there's exactly who they were looking for.</p><p>There are a few stages to decomposing. Normally, a dead body after a few days would look pale, rigor mortis in its late stages, eyes closed, skin starting to turn yellow. Shizuo studies medicine; he has learned about this . A drowning victim, however, is another thing entirely.</p><p>The woman before them can't have been dead for a long time, mainly because she's still recognizable as one. Her facial features and her stomach have blown up to an unnatural size. The translucent flesh that remains on her bones is swollen and bitten to pieces by fish. Her eyes are long gone, and she stares at them from empty sockets.</p><p>Suddenly, Shizuo is very glad that ghosts don't smell.</p><p>When she sees them -- sees Izaya? Shizuo still isn't sure if he's even recognizable by ghosts -- her screaming turns from screeching at the top of her lungs into something that more resembles a gurgle than anything else, like she was desperately trying to speak despite her water-filled lungs.</p><p>"You," she rasps, while water streams from her mouth with every word. She points at Izaya with one half-eaten finger. "You're alive." She sounds desperate, but above everything else, she sounds-- <em>hungry</em>. "Make me alive again."</p><p>Shizuo unwillingly takes a step back as she gets closer. He can see in detail how much the fish have gotten to her already; with a body like this, even if she should be fished out of the river eventually, there's no way her family would ever receive her body. Her only grave would be the river.</p><p>"I want to be alive again," she gurgles. Drops of water hit Shizuo in the face as he speaks and it takes all he has not to flinch back. It's gross. "Make me the way I was before. Make me alive again."</p><p>"I'm afraid I can't do that." Izaya, despite the woman's appearance and her behaviour, stays miraculously calm. It makes Shizuo wonder what else Izaya has already seen. What things hardened him enough to stay unfazed in the face of a raging ghost.</p><p>"However, I can take you somewhere else. You'll find peace there. You will even look the way you used to, before all the drowning. How does that sound?" He flashes the ghost a promising smile.</p><p>She looks at him for a few beats, a blank stare out of empty eye sockets. Then, she begins to <em>screech</em>.</p><p>"I don't want that! Give me back my body! <em>Give me back my body!</em>"</p><p>She grasps for the hem of Izaya's coat with wet fingers, water streaming out of her mouth like a flood. It's everywhere, and she grasps Izaya's jacket like it's her lifeline. "Give me back my body or I'll devour you! I'll take yours instead! You don't deserve it anyway, give it to me instead! Give it to-"</p><p>Her mouth rips open, half-rotten teeth ready to rip the flesh off Izaya's shoulder when Shizuo lands a punch in her face and sends her flying meters back. The feeling of rotting flesh and crumbling bones will accompany him for a long, long time.</p><p>Breathing heavily, Shizuo pulls Izaya a few steps back. "I didn't know I could touch ghosts," he says. "I didn't know that they were more than--"</p><p>He doesn't know how to finish that sentence besides 'thin air', and that seems too obvious, but Izaya doesn't care about it, anyway. He's already himself again, staring at the ghost in the distance that already begins to stand up and stumble back to them again. Her inhuman screeching can still be heard, loud enough to send alarm bells ringing in Shizuo's head.</p><p>"We need to get out of here," Shizuo says. "I might be able to keep her away, but I can't stop her forever." He pulls on Izaya's sleeve, but Izaya stands where he is, eyes focused needle-sharp on the figure of the woman that's slowly crawling closer. Water pours from her body, soaking the shore, the asphalt, their shoes until they stand ankle-high in river water.</p><p>"Not yet, Shizu-chan." He holds persistently against Shizuo's grip, no matter how hard Shizuo tries to pull him away. "I won't leave her yet."</p><p>"Are you serious?" Shizuo hisses. "She's going to kill you if we stay here any longer!"</p><p>Izaya laughs at that. "It's sweet that you care for me, really, but even if she tried to, I can't die. Not before my time comes, at least."</p><p>Before Shizuo can ask what the hell <em>that </em>is supposed to mean, Izaya turns his focus  back to the woman. "I still have a few more tricks up my sleeve. Just you wait."</p><p>The woman has crawled closer, on all fours now, a gaping hole on the right side of her head where Shizuo had hit her. One of her legs must have been destroyed to the point where she couldn't use it anymore. She's using her arms to pull her closer and closer to them. It's a scene right out of a horror movie.</p><p>Izaya opens his arms, like he's saying a prayer. "I can still give you salvation!" he shouts over the distance. "Just say it!"</p><p>She snarls in response, and pulls herself closer.</p><p>Izaya sighs and lowers his hands. "Fine, if you want it like that," he says, voice strangely dark. Not angry, just- sad. "Then I have no other choice, do I? Well, it was your own decision after all."</p><p>He sighs. His hands start to glow faintly.</p><p>Then he lowers them.</p><p>The woman disappears into a surge of light. Unceremoniously, in the flash of an eye, and then she's gone.</p><p>The water to their feet slowly disappears.</p><p>Izaya takes a heavy breath and stumbles a few steps backwards. Shizuo catches him with a hand to his back. "Are you alright?" he asks, though the question by itself is already a farce. Nobody is alright after something like this. Not Izaya, and certainly not Shizuo himself.</p><p>Izaya knows that too, so he laughs breathlessly. "Is that really a question you need me to answer for you, Shizu-chan?"</p><p>He's right, of course. Shizuo lowers his head and looks at Izaya's hands, that have stopped glowing by now. Looks at the water around them, that has disappeared. "What the hell did you even do?"</p><p>"I forced her to disappear. To move on, if you want. It's not all always rainbow and sunshines. Sometimes, you have to help them a bit to reach their luck, you know?"</p><p>"You don't seem very happy about it." It's a simple observation, one Shizuo doesn't need Izaya's explanation for. It's visible in the way his eyes are still wide, in the way his hands are shaking the tiniest bit. His breath hitches.</p><p>"Surprise, Shizu-chan," Izaya says, something wrenched and dry in his voice. "I'm not."</p><p>"Why not? She crossed the border. She isn't your responsibility anymore."</p><p>Izaya laughs humorlessly. "She certainly crossed <em>some </em>border. I'll be damned if I know which one, though."</p><p>Shizuo narrows his eyes. "What do you mean by that?"</p><p>"...Nothing." Izaya turns away. "A story for another time, Shizu-chan. Don't you have a cigarette to finish?"</p><p>Shizuo thinks about digging deeper, forcing Izaya to tell him what he meant by that, but with how tired Izaya looks right now, he decides against it. No use in trying when he won't get an answer anyway.</p><p>He thinks about his cigarette, dropped somewhere between standing up and finding the ghost, burning a circle into the ground. "It's gone now. Come on, let's go."</p><p>Izaya follows him, hands in the pockets of his jacket, not touching Shizuo's anymore. Finally, it's quiet.</p><p>"Breathe," he tells Izaya as much as he tells himself. "Breathe."</p><p>The next breath comes a bit easier. And the one after that. And the one after that.</p><p>At some point, the ghost of a ghost fades.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>8. the fall</strong>
</p><p><em>I can't die. Not before my time comes, at least</em>, Izaya had said. One day, Shizuo finally realizes what he meant by that.</p><p>It's evening when his phone rings. Shizuo sits on the windowsill with a cup of tea, content, and then Izaya calls and turns everything upside down again.</p><p>He picks up. It's useless to pretend he'd ever do anything else.</p><p>"I've tested a new hypothesis recently, Shizu-chan," Izaya says instead of a greeting. He sounds out of breath, like he's been running for hours straight. It isn't a good sign. All of Shizuo's alarm bells are ringing.</p><p>There are streets growling faintly in the background.</p><p>"Where are you?" Shizuo asks.</p><p>"If I can talk to ghosts and send them into the next life, there must be some sort of meaning to it, mustn't there?" Izaya asks. He doesn't answer. "I have to be the one who carries them to the next life. Therefore, I have to remain in this world for quite a long time, right? I can't just move on like that. Who would meet the ghosts in my place?"</p><p>A car engine is roaring. It sounds far, far away. Shizuo suddenly has a dooming realization where Izaya is. "No. Don't tell me."</p><p>"Knives didn't do the trick," Izaya hums. He must know how provocative he sounds. How much more his own life means to Shizuo than it means to him. "Bullets didn't do anything either, by the way. Or cars, for that matter. Trains. Only one last thing to try, no?"</p><p>"Shit." Shizuo takes a deep breath and hurries out the door. He doesn't bother tying his shoelaces correctly. There's no time for that. The door falls shut behind him and he doesn't bother checking if he has his keys with him or not. The phone is in his hands, hands, hands, and he's running down the stairs in a fanatic hurry. "Shit, Izaya, stay where you are. Please, I'll be there in a minute, just <em>stay where you are</em>!"</p><p>"Shizu-chan, it's sweet that you want to come here.”</p><p>"Izaya. I swear, don't do it--"</p><p>"Oh, are you worried, Shizu-chan? Don't be, I'll be back in a while." Shizuo can hear him smile over the phone.</p><p>"Izaya, don't--"</p><p>"See you, Shizu-chan!"</p><p>Izaya doesn't end the call. He just stops talking and that is incredibly, thousandfold worse, because that means that Shizuo gets to hear how Izaya's feet leave the rooftop and the wind rips at him on his way down.</p><p>"Izaya!"</p><p>More than anything, he wishes he could forget the crunching sound of Izaya's bones shattering on asphalt but no matter how much time passes, this one thing will stay with him forever.</p><p>Shizuo might have the power to break with a single touch, but there's a bitter irony in the fact that in the end, Izaya didn't need him for it at all.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>9. the street</strong>
</p><p>Shizuo goes looking for Izaya, after that. He doesn't answer Shinra's phone calls or Celty's messages and skips his classes in order to run through the city's roaring streets in blind rage, looking for one, one, one person only.</p><p>It doesn't take long. Izaya isn't on the rooftop, like he knows better than to return to there, and he isn't in front of the hospital or in the café or in the park either, but somehow. Somehow.</p><p>Shizuo can't explain how he finds him, or where; just that, suddenly and without warning, there's a flash of red eyes and a jacket like birds' wings, and suddenly Shizuo can't see anything else anymore.</p><p>"You," he hisses and fury grabs hold of his body, consumes what's left of his thoughts and leaves him with nothing else. "<em>You</em>."</p><p>Izaya doesn't know what hits him when Shizuo grabs him by the collar and pulls him into one of the side streets, where there isn't anyone but them. No chance for Izaya to disappear now.</p><p>"Shizu-chan," Izaya says, back against a wall, Shizuo's hands clinging to his collar like it's a life line. It is. It is, because as long as Shizuo holds him here, he can't go and jump off buildings. Shizuo won't let him.</p><p>"Shizu-chan, what has gotten into you all of a sudden?" His eyes are carefully narrowed. He's studying Shizuo, like he's preparing himself to run away as soon as he gets the chance to. He knows exactly what this is about and yet still pretends, still hides, still runs. Shizuo is sick of it.</p><p>"What has gotten into me all of a sudden?" He parrots, still rage, still fury, and despite everything, he tries not to rip holes into Izaya's shirt. "You know exactly what has gotten into me, Izaya. Stop to fucking pretend otherwise, or I'll leave right now and you'll never see me again."</p><p>Izaya's mouth sets into a hard line at that. God knows why that, out of all things, is what makes him stop.</p><p>"It was an experiment," he says, voice hard and shut off. Almost cold, if Shizuo didn't know better than to assume that Izaya could ever keep his distance. "A study, if you want. It isn't that different from what Shinra does, is it?"</p><p>"You jumped off a fucking rooftop."</p><p>"And I survived." Izaya's fists clench at his sides now; it's the first time Shizuo has ever seen him truly angry. "What's the big deal about it, Shizu-chan?"</p><p>Shizu-chan. Endearment, insult, and now something else entirely. Something sharp, something painful. But Shizuo has gone too far to turn back now. He'll see this through to the end.</p><p>"You jumped off a fucking rooftop, <em>and you made me listen</em>."</p><p>Izaya immediately stops dead in his tracks. He doesn't respond to anything. Maybe for once, he doesn’t have the words.</p><p>"And do you know what the worst thing is?" Shizuo adds with a bitter laugh. "Do you, Izaya?"</p><p>Izaya looks at him. "Tell me."</p><p>"The worst thing is that in that moment,<em> I wanted to die with you.</em>"</p><p>For a moment, Izaya does nothing but stare at Shizuo, too-wide eyes and something that might be shock on his face. Then, he sighs and does something that might be a smile. Then, he puts his hands over Shizuo's, that are still holding his collar. They are warm.</p><p>Then, he leans in and kisses Shizuo.</p><p>For a moment, Shizuo is too frozen in place to do anything. Then, slowly, the realization sets in.</p><p>He's standing in a back alley, fists clenched on Orihara Izaya's collar. He's standing in a back alley and he hates Orihara Izaya for making him care. He's standing in a back alley, and Orihara Izaya is kissing him.</p><p>Shizuo kisses back.</p><p>Maybe this is the natural conclusion of something, maybe fate, maybe something else entirely but Shizuo couldn't care less about what the universe has planned for him. There are more important things right now: what Izaya's mouth tastes like, the warmth Shizuo feels, how Izaya's hands are still right on top of his until he takes them away to wrap them around Shizuo's neck instead.</p><p>Finally, Shizuo steps back. It's something he already regrets; but this can't be the end of the discussion. He won’t let it be.</p><p>"I'm still mad at you," he says because everything else he wants to say isn't conveyable in simple words.</p><p>"I know," Izaya says. For a second, Shizuo almost thinks that he's going to apologize and that is a terrifying thought in its own right, but then Izaya says, "I won't do it again. Not while you know about it."</p><p>"Izaya," Shizuo says in a low voice. It's a warning.</p><p>Izaya huffs. "Alright, alright. I won't do it again. Full stop."</p><p>Shizuo narrows his eyes at him. "Promise?"</p><p>"Promise."</p><p>"Good." Shizuo finally feels like can exhale again. "I don't know what I would have done otherwise."</p><p>Izaya laughs. "Then it's a good thing you'll never have to find out, is it?" he asks, and then he kisses Shizuo again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>10. the warehouse</strong>
</p>
<p>Shizuo receives the text during a lecture. An address and, attached, a message. <em>Meet me there in a bit.</em></p>
<p>He doesn't need to ask who it is from. The lecture drags on for five, ten, twenty more minutes and after that he puts on his jacket and follows Izaya's vague directions to an abandoned warehouse alleyway. Creepy, Shizuo thinks, and still enters.</p>
<p>Izaya is already waiting for him, turning around when he hears Shizuo approaching. "You're late," he says with a taunting smile, but his fingertips ghost across Shizuo's cheek almost affectionately.</p>
<p>"Had a lecture to attend," Shizuo says. "I couldn't exactly leave in the middle of it, could I?"</p>
<p>The look in Izaya's eyes tells him that he was supposed to do exactly that, but Izaya isn't exactly a paragon of good decisions (quite the opposite, really). He also still hasn't told Shizuo what the fuck his major is even supposed to be, so he isn't exactly in a position where he can tell Shizuo anything. Not that Shizuo would listen, of course. Just because they're <em>something </em>now doesn't mean that he has given up his common sense.</p>
<p>"What are we doing here?" Shizuo asks instead of answering Izaya's unspoken retort. "This doesn't exactly look like a place many people would die in."</p>
<p>"Workplace accident, a few days ago." Izaya sighs. "Someone set the entire place on fire. Most people escaped, but a few didn't get out in time." Then his eyes take on a focused look, and Shizuo knows better than to disturb him now. Izaya is doing what he's supposed to do, and Shizuo can only silently stand by.</p>
<p>Shizuo watches as Izaya talks to thin air, holds out his hand, disappears and appears, vanishes and returns over and over again. "I still don't know why I'm even here," he says after a while. "You don't exactly need me for moral support, do you?"</p>
<p>"I was hoping we could get dinner and see a movie later." Izaya grins. Shizuo can't tell if he's being sarcastic or not. "Also, you have a nice voice. Someone like you always comes in handy."</p>
<p>"You don't say." Shizuo frowns, holds out his hand. "At least let me watch. Let me be useful for once, alright?"</p>
<p>Izaya takes his hand with a smile. "You're not useful just by existing, Shizu-chan," he says sweetly, but he doesn't let go either. Shizuo likes to think that Izaya sees his hand as some sort of fucked up anchor - keeping him grounded in this world when all he does is bring souls into the next one.</p>
<p>"Oh shut up." Shizuo thinks about kissing the smile off Izaya's face, but that's something he can do later as well. There's only one person left, a man in his fifties with nasty burn scars all over his face. When he sees Izaya, his eyes brighten.</p>
<p>"You're not dead yet," he says. "You're a living person. Can you see me?"</p>
<p>Izaya tilts his head to one side. "You're a curious one," he says. "I can see you, and I'm here to take you to the next world. Do you know that?"</p>
<p>Relief spreads on the man's face and suddenly, he doesn't look all that terrible anymore. "That's nice," he says. "Are you some sort of Grim Reaper? You certainly look like one." He's looking at Izaya's clothes, all dark and birds wings, and at his sharp smile. Shizuo has to hold back an amused grin and Izaya starts laughing out loud.</p>
<p>"This isn't the first time someone has asked me that," he says. "I don't think I am one, though, sorry to disappoint."</p>
<p>"Aren't you? That's a shame." The man sighs, but doesn't look too disappointed. "Anyway, I’d ask you what lies beyond, but I'll see that for myself in a moment, right? There ain't much keepin' me in this world anyway. My wife passed away years ago and I don't have any kids I could leave behind so..." He trails off.</p>
<p>Izaya nods. "That's alright. You might even meet your wife again, who knows?" He holds out his hand. "You just have to follow me for a bit."</p>
<p>The man takes Izaya's outstretched hand and Shizuo lets go of the other one. Izaya gives Shizuo a small smile. "I'll be back in a moment."</p>
<p>"Take care."</p>
<p>Izaya disappears, and returns again after a few minutes. Shizuo takes his hand, but the man is gone. Safely dropped off on the other side, wherever <em>the other side</em> may be. He sighs. "That was the last one. Let's go, Shizu-chan. I might have been joking about the movie, but dinner <em>would </em>be nice, you know?"</p>
<p>Shizuo frowns. "You're going to make me pay again, aren't you."</p>
<p>"You're so smart." Izaya grins. "That's why I like you. Come on, let's go."</p>
<p>Shizuo follows him out of the alleyway and onto the more crowded street outside. They're close to some part of the Tokyo port here, and the air smells of gasoline, of fish and rotten goods. It's not exactly a nice area, but after the ghost of the drowning woman, Shizuo can confidently say that he has seen worse.</p>
<p>Their way leads them out of the port and into some nicer, less crowded part of the city, through side streets and a park or two, until Shizuo couldn't say for how long they walked. At some point, when he feels Izaya tense after passing a traffic square, he starts humming something, a simple lullaby he picked up somewhere a while ago. Seeing Izaya relax almost immediately makes something warm bloom in his chest.</p>
<p>At some point, Shizuo starts thinking about something. He tries to shoo off the thought at first, because it's one of those questions Izaya wouldn't like if he asked it, but when the thought starts to become persistent after five minutes, and after ten, and after fifteen, Shizuo finally sighs and, in some side street without any other people, stops singing.</p>
<p>"Hey, can I ask you something?"</p>
<p>Izaya raises his eyebrows. "If you keep humming afterwards."</p>
<p>They’re in one of the less crowded areas to live in, so there shouldn't be a lot of ghosts around here; still, Shizuo doesn’t point that out. Instead, he asks, "I've wondered for a while now, but you never answered me about two things."</p>
<p>"Go on." They're still walking through the alley, hands still interlocked, and Shizuo can't see any ghosts so far. Good.</p>
<p>"What happens to those people after you lead them to the other side? You said that you knew, but you never told me about it." He takes a deep breath. "And who is making you do all this? Who is telling you to carry those souls to their next life?"</p>
<p>Izaya stops dead in his tracks to look at him. "Shizu-chan."</p>
<p>"Yes?"</p>
<p>"Who makes you sing? Who tells you to hum a melody whenever one pops up in your brain?"</p>
<p>Shizuo thinks about it for a moment before he laughs. "That's fair," he says. "What about the first question, though?"</p>
<p>Izaya only smiles mysteriously.</p>
<p>Shizuo grimaces. "You aren't going to tell me, are you?"</p>
<p>Izaya raises their interlocked hands and presses a short kiss to Shizuo's knuckles. "You're right. I won't." He drops their hands again, but the slight smile on his face remains - more secretive than joyful. "You’ll find out eventually, darling. Be patient, will you?"</p>
<p>Shizuo looks at him for a moment. His red eyes, his bird-like bones, his jacket, how it all makes him look like a grim reaper to both ghosts and humans alike. How, despite everything, he's still so terribly, terrifyingly human underneath it all. How Shizuo has grown to love him a tiny bit too much.</p>
<p>"I will," he finally says and turns away to keep walking. Their hands stay where they are. "Let's get dinner now?"</p>
<p>"Alright." Izaya catches up with a few quick strides. "How do you feel about sushi?"</p>
<p>"I was thinking about getting Italian instead. Pizza, maybe."</p>
<p>Izaya laughs. "Alright, then. Whatever you say, Shizu-chan. Whatever you say."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>11. the kitchen</strong>
</p>
<p>At some point, Izaya stays over. It goes better than Shizuo would have expected it to - Shizuo's bed is big enough to comfortably fit two people into it and Izaya fits into his arms naturally. Like he's supposed to be there. This, whatever this is, is nice.</p>
<p>Midnight is a witching hour. It's the hour of the ghosts. It's also an hour for talking, and it's an hour for brutal truths.</p>
<p>"I still don't know if you wanted me to stop you back then," Shizuo says, at some point, staring up at where he thinks the ceiling must be in all that darkness. "When you jumped from that rooftop. Did you call me just to prove a point? Or did you want me to reach you in time?"</p>
<p>Izaya curls into him like he's a shield, made to protect him - from the world, from ghosts, from Izaya himself. What irony. "Who knows?" he says sleepily. "Does it matter now?"</p>
<p>Shizuo remembers the sound of breaking bones on asphalt. "It does."</p>
<p>"Then it's too bad." He yawns. "That's a secret between me and the ghosts, I suppose."</p>
<p>Shizuo is still convinced that whatever they have, it <em>can’t</em> be healthy. There’s no way it could be. Izaya sees ghosts and Shizuo has heard Izaya's bones break, and worst of all, Izaya <em>let him</em>--</p>
<p>But that's a thought for tomorrow. Right now, it's dark and he's tired and the world is a little softer than it’s supposed to be. Right now, for once, the ghosts are silent. Shizuo should know, with Izaya in his arms.</p>
<p>He sighs. "So what if I make the ghosts shut up for a while?"</p>
<p>Izaya's voice is more of a lazy drawl. "Do it." But there's no challenge hidden in it. There are still dark rings under Izaya's eyes. He still flinches sometimes, even when there’s nothing there. Shizuo would pity him if Izaya wouldn't hate it so goddamn much.</p>
<p>So he leans back against the headboard and hums. It's nothing like the radio songs he sang while doing dishes, just whatever melody comes to his mind first. He jumps between tempos and keys and couldn't care less.</p>
<p>He sings until the early morning hours, when the first rays of sunlight start bleeding through the half-opened window and Izaya has finally closed his eyes for good. His throat is dry and his voice hoarse by now, but it's worth it. It's worth it.</p>
<p>Somewhere around five, he finally stops and runs his fingers through Izaya's hair one last time. Then he nods off.</p>
<p>When he wakes up again, the bed next to him is cold. Shizuo almost panics, but then he hears faint music and rattling pans outside and smiles. So Izaya didn't leave after all. Good to know.</p>
<p>The music, Shizuo finds out a few minutes later, is something classical he can't quite place. Brahms, maybe. Possibly Mozart. There's a lot of violins and even more cellos that wave a quick, gentle melody all over the flat. Izaya has the volume turned down far enough to hear it when Shizuo enters the kitchen. He turns around with a dry smile. "Morning."</p>
<p>"Mornin'." Shizuo peeks at the radio. "I didn't know you listened to classics."</p>
<p>"I don't." Izaya fishes a frying pan out of the dishwasher. "But you were still asleep. Radio was the next best choice. Don't you think it's nice? The announcer said it was Brahms' First."</p>
<p>"It's pretty." Shizuo pulls up a chair and decides not to think about the fact that Izaya chose to keep the ghosts away with the radio instead of waking Shizuo up. He'd feel unnecessarily fond otherwise. They can't have that. "What are you even doing over there?"</p>
<p>Izaya turns around with a swirl. "I'm glad you asked, Shizu-chan." He's holding a pan. There's something unrecognizable in it, but it smells good. Shizuo can admit that much. "Scrambled eggs, extra for you. I might make pancakes later as well, if I'm in the mood. We'll see about that."</p>
<p>"Scrambled eggs." Shizuo raises his eyebrows. "Pancakes. How do I deserve that honor?"</p>
<p>"A thank you gift," Izaya says, all usual theatricals and promising smiles and big gestures, but he's only half joking. "For keeping the ghosts at bay. I can't promise it's edible, though. That's why you get the first serving, Shizu-chan." He smiles sweetly and very fake, but Shizuo won't let him distract him from the actually important thing about what he said.</p>
<p>"You don't have to thank me," Shizuo says immediately. "Not for this. Not for anything."</p>
<p>"I know, Shizu-chan," Izaya says. He has his own plate filled now, too. Despite what he just said, he takes the first bite. He doesn't die. Neither of them do.</p>
<p>"But I still wanted to."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>12. the walk</strong>
</p>
<p>"Did you ever figure out what makes the ghosts go away?" Shizuo asks once, quietly. They're somewhere in a park, in the middle of November when the first snow has started to set in and their footsteps leave hollow images of themselves wherever they go. It's dark already, bless daylights saving and the fact that it gets dark at 4pm now, and Shizuo's freezing. They'll go back soon, him to his apartment and Izaya to his own, and they won't see each other again for the night, probably. Maybe he could ask Izaya to stay over - Izaya's bed isn't big enough for two people.</p>
<p>For now, though, they're still here. It's freezing and dark outside, only interrupted by the yellow glow of a single lantern, but Shizuo wouldn't want it any other way.</p>
<p>Izaya, unusually serious, makes a face. "Appreciation," he says, in answer to the question Shizuo has almost forgotten already.</p>
<p>Shizuo looks at him curiously. <em>Continue</em>, he wants to say, but that's Izaya's choice.</p>
<p>With an unpleasant laugh, Izaya adds: "It's appreciation for life they fear, Shizuo. First time I found it, it was when I heard you sing. Makes sense why I didn't want to let you go afterwards, doesn't it?"</p>
<p>Shizuo refuses the urge to teasingly ask <em>What, so you only keep me around for my singing?</em> It wouldn't fit the tone, and he's too scared of what the answer may be.</p>
<p>He sighs instead. "I guess it does."</p>
<p>"Shizu-chan. Don't make that face. It's not the only reason I'm still here, don't you worry about that."</p>
<p>As tempted as Shizuo is to shrug this topic off, make a joke about it and never bring it up again, he feels like this is something they have to talk about at some point. As romantic as codependency is, Shizuo still wants closure on this. "Isn't it?"</p>
<p>Izaya's face falls. "Do you really think that?" he asks. "Do you really think that?"</p>
<p>Izaya isn't as good an actor as he thinks he is. His wide eyes and the lips in a thin line are definitely real - but still- But still.</p>
<p>"It would be a reasonable train of thought," Shizuo says. "Wouldn't it? When I sing, the ghosts go away. You keep me around to make them disappear when you can't stand them anymore."</p>
<p>"So what? When you sing, the ghosts go away," Izaya says. That's the point where he steps closer, until they're barely apart, and takes Shizuo's face into his hands. Shizuo can hear him breathe like that. He can feel his heartbeat. He can hear, clear as day, as Izaya says, "And have you ever thought about why that is?"</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>
  <em>"If I can make the ghosts go away by appreciating life, isn't that a form of suicide too? I'm undoing everything I'm in this world for."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Don't. I'd rather you die by loving life a little too much than jumping off a rooftop again."</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>15. the beginning</strong>
</p>
<p>Maybe it's some sort of twisted fate that makes them end up on this rooftop again. Shizuo can't say he minds.</p>
<p>He's the one who arrives first for once. It's still quiet up here and the silence of burning cigarettes is only accompanied by the growling streets below, but the disappointment Shizuo feels when he arrives to an Izaya-less rooftop is soon abandoned when the door opens and a boy with dark hair and red eyes and a bird wing jacket stands in the entrance.</p>
<p>"Shizu-chan," Izaya says. There's fondness in his words. There's fondness in his smile. "Fancy meeting you here. Who would have guessed that you'd be here too?"</p>
<p>Shizuo laughs. "What a coincidence indeed."</p>
<p>Izaya crosses the distance between them, but instead of the kiss Shizuo silently hoped for, he only gets a mocking frown. "You smoke? How disappointing. Don't you know that it's not good for you?" He plucks the cigarette from Shizuo's fingers like it's a ripe fruit. Shizuo lets him.</p>
<p>Someone put a park bench up here a while ago. Nobody knows how the hell they managed to get it the eight stores up here, or how they got the small table next to it, but nobody would complain about it either, so it gets added to the city's smaller mysteries and never gets addressed again. Put it on the list.</p>
<p>Izaya sits down on that park bench right now, patting the space next to him. "Come on, Shizu-chan. Sit."</p>
<p>Shizuo does as he's told and tries to pluck the cigarette back from him, but Izaya grins and holds it just out of reach of Shizuo's fingers. They both know that he could stand up and grab hold of it every second, but that's not the game.</p>
<p>Finally, Shizuo stops and sits back. Izaya takes a triumphant drag.</p>
<p>"I didn't know you smoked."</p>
<p>"I don't." Izaya smiles. "I started about ten seconds ago."</p>
<p>"Aren't you the one always preaching about how bad it is for your health?" It's hypocritical. Izaya can't die from anything. He will go when his time will come -- a cigarette won't change anything about that.</p>
<p>Izaya sighs, but hands Shizuo back the cigarette anyways. Shizuo takes a triumphant drag.</p>
<p>"Shizu-chan, let me ask you something," Izaya says at some point.</p>
<p>"If I can ask you something in return."</p>
<p>Izaya raises his eyebrows. "Sure," he says with a smile. "Whatever you want."</p>
<p>Whatever he wants. How sweet that sounds. How much Shizuo wants to hear it.</p>
<p>"Go ahead, then," he says to Izaya. "What did you want to ask?"</p>
<p>Izaya sighs. "You know what? Nevermind. I changed my mind." He watches their surroundings; white clouds being dragged across a bright blue sky by a lazy breeze; the streets below, almost quiet in this moment. It's a lazy afternoon, but an alive one. "It's not important."</p>
<p>Shizuo raises his eyebrows. "There's never something 'not important' with you," he says. "What's the catch?" But there's a teasing edge in his voice.</p>
<p>"I'm telling you," Izaya says, lazy smile tugging on his lips, "it's nothing serious, don't worry. I'll tell you eventually. You wanted to ask me something, though. Go ahead."</p>
<p>Shizuo shakes his head. "It isn't fair if you don't ask yours and still want me to ask mine."</p>
<p>"Do you still think of this as an equivalent exchange? That you have to give me something in order to receive something else? Go ahead."</p>
<p>Fuck it. Shizuo takes a deep breath and is finally brave enough to ask, "If you hate the ghosts so much, why do you keep doing this? Why do you insist on collecting every soul you find and guiding them into what comes next?"</p>
<p>Izaya's laugh is hoarse. Maybe he didn't expect that question, or maybe he anticipated it for a long time. In any case, the answer is too prepared, too coherent, to be anything else than something he has thought and thought and thought about. "Because I know what happens if I come and collect them. I don't know what happens if I don't."</p>
<p>Realization suddenly sets in. "Is that why you don't want to tell me what happens next?" Shizuo asks. "Because you're afraid I won't be able to go there?"</p>
<p>Izaya keeps quiet for a long time. Finally, he says: "I want to meet you again, Shizu-chan. If I tell you what's waiting for you, they might not let you go there. I wouldn't know where you'd end up, in that case. Believe me if I say that it's better to wait, yes?"</p>
<p>Shizuo closes his eyes. "Okay. Okay, yeah. I don't want to-- If it guarantees that I'll be able to see you again one day, I'm okay with that. I'll see for myself eventually anyways, won't I?"</p>
<p>Another laugh. Izaya leans slightly forward. "So many truths today, Shizu-chan. What happened to you?"</p>
<p>Shizuo looks at him for a long, long time. Finally, he takes a deep breath. "I fell in love," he says, and it feels like something that's been coming for a very long time. "That's what happened."</p>
<p>Izaya says nothing for a second and Shizuo's heart almost skips a beat. Then, he slowly smiles. "And isn't that a beautiful thing?"</p>
<p>It is.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>coda. the decay</strong>
</p>
<p>One day, decades later, Shizuo wakes up with a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Shizu-chan," Izaya says, voice softer than ever before. "Shizu-chan, darling, wake up."</p>
<p>He slowly opens his eyes. Izaya is sitting on the edge of the bed next to him, hand still at his shoulders. Over the decades, his cheeks have become hollow and his black hair has turned fully gray a few years ago. Shizuo still thinks he's the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.</p>
<p>Izaya gives him the faintest hint of a smile. "Hey. Good morning, sleeping beauty."</p>
<p>"Mornin'." Shizuo sits up and swings his legs over the bed frame. The floor isn't all that cold to touch, even with bare feet.</p>
<p>Something is different. Something is different than all the other times before, but he can't quite say what it is. Not at first.</p>
<p>Not until he turns his head to see his own body still lie in his bed.</p>
<p>"Oh," Shizuo says. He's not scared. Not regretful. If anything, he'd say that what he's feeling might be something similar to faint annoyance, like his death is the sting of a bee: He'd have liked to spend more time with Izaya, if possible. But he's dead, and that's fine too. They talked about this. It's going to be okay.</p>
<p>Izaya stares at him. "Are you--"</p>
<p>"I'm fine," Shizuo says before he can finish his sentence. "I'm fine, I just- This feels different from what I thought it would be like."</p>
<p>"Oh? Is that so." Izaya raises his eyebrows. "How did you think it would feel?"</p>
<p>Shizuo doesn't need to think about that one. "Colder. I didn't think-" He reaches for Izaya's forearm. "I can still feel your warmth."</p>
<p>"Can you? That's nice."</p>
<p>Shizuo gives him a lopsided smile. <em>One day again</em>, it promises. <em>Soon</em>. "So is this the day you'll finally tell me what's on the other side?"</p>
<p>Finally, <em>finally</em>, Izaya opens his eyes and smiles. "You'll see for yourself in a moment. Don't be so impatient, Shizu-chan."</p>
<p>"At least tell me. You <em>will </em>be there on the other side too, right? Eventually." They've talked about this before; many times, during the years they spent together. It was one of the fundamental things, this promise that they would meet again. But still-- Shizuo needs to hear it one last time.</p>
<p>There's that small smile again. "Of course I will," Izaya says and stands up with a sigh. "I just gotta finish some business here first. But after that, I'll be there. You can bet on that."</p>
<p>"I'll be looking forward to it." Shizuo grins. "Come on, let's go. You don't have all day."</p>
<p>Izaya laughs. "You might be right."</p>
<p>He holds out his hand. Shizuo takes it.</p>
<p>
  <strong>fin.</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for reading! find me on twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/neonlightism">here</a></p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>say hi to me on <a href="twitter.com/neonlightism">twitter!</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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